Dear Friends,

Please join me in contributing a brick to The Healing Garden, a place of solace, hope, and quiet, for cancer patients and their families.

Coram Deo,

Margot

The Healing Garden

The Tallahassee Memorial Cancer Center

The Tallahassee Memorial Cancer Center at One Healing Place is a 52,412 square-foot building, featuring comfortable furnishings, patient-centered amenities and a beautiful, outdoor Healing Garden that provides a place of rest, solace, and comfort.

The garden is comprised of foliage known for its healing qualities, with ambling paths, outdoor seating, and soothing water features — to provide a natural retreat for patients and families.

The Healing Garden features a variety of spaces to accommodate different activities and levels of privacy for groups and solitary contemplation. Many activities and events will be featured in the Healing Garden, such as artists-at-work and Tai Chi.

However, the essence of the Healing Garden is in the enhancement of the environment and the provision of a beautiful retreat for all.

For more information, Google “Tallahassee Memorial HealthCare Foundation.”

 The Healing Garden: Brick or Tree Plates

Make checks payable to and snail-mail this completed form and your contribution to:

The TMH Foundation

1331 East Sixth Avenue

Tallahassee, FL

For more information:

Janet Borneman 850.431.4048

Bricks are $200 each.

Tree Plates are $1,000 each.

Dear Tallahassee Friends,

Please join me at the following event, which will benefit and offer hope to breast cancer patients and their families.

Coram Deo,

Margot

Living Well Fashion Show and Luncheon

 Sponsored by The Joanna Francis Living Well Foundation*

www.joannafrancislivingwell.org

Goodwood Cottage @ Goodwood Gardens and Museum — Tallahassee, FL

Valentine’s Day, Tuesday, February 14, 2012

11:30 AM – 1:30 PM

General Admission Tickets: $50

Purchase Tickets:

Email:  LivingWellinTally@yahoo.com,

Or Phone:  Michelle Pullam — 850.210.2062,

Or at Cotton Etc, Cole Couture, Narcissus, Haute Headz, or Spriggs

 *The Joanna Francis Living Well Foundation:

 “Living Well” is a compounding relief fund, which provides social assistance primarily for metastatic breast cancer patients who have “school to college aged” children.

 The goal of the foundation is rooted in the desire to help patients and families benefit from financial relief for social services. The purpose of the foundation is to provide opportunities of support and financial assistance for unforeseen living expenses, while living with terminal breast cancer. Living with cancer is not an independent experience. The hope of the foundation is to help create and develop a universal concept of care, by means of involving a community of navigators. The offering of support comes in many different manners, which will in turn help the patient and family members achieve a renewal of spirit for hope and healing.

 The “Living Well” was created to help others face each day with courage. There are so many ways in which to experience the journey of cancer, recognizing it as a tarnished blessing. It is important to grow emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. The foundation will provide a continuing reservoir of replenishment for patients, families and others who are encountering a similar path so that we are all “living well.”

The Courage to Remember Exhibit

[From The Tallahassee Democrat, January 18, 2012;   Written by Ashley Ames, Democrat Staff Writer]

Where: Tallahassee Community College,  T. K. Wetherell History and Social Sciences Building

When: 8AM to 7:30PM,  Monday-Friday — through 01.31.12

Admission: Free

For more information:  www.couragetoremember.com 

Soft conversation and murmurs filled the Holocaust exhibit at Tallahassee Community College on Tuesday evening, as visitors quietly meandered through the display. Some spoke to one another softly; some pointed to a photo or a quote. Some simply, silently, took it all in.

“The Courage to Remember,” a world-traveling exhibit, showcases more than 200 photos from 1933 to 1945. Following an opening ceremony, Tuesday marked the Florida debut of the exhibit.

“We believe that knowledge of the Holocaust is more important today than it ever has been,” said Alfred Balitzer, chairman of the Foundation of California, which sponsors the exhibit, adding that hatred and bigotry continue to be present. Education is a powerful tool, he said.

“These things persist around us,” Balitzer said. “Things like the exhibit continue to be important as a way of teaching people about the horrors — and the lessons we can learn from those horrors.”

About 100 attended the opening ceremony, including Leon County Commission Chairman Akin Akinyemi, City Commissioner Andrew Gillum, and Rep. Michelle Rehwinkel Vasilinda, D-Tallahassee, who all spoke on the importance of remembering the Holocaust.

Holocaust survivor and cantor Emil Levy was also present at the ceremony. Levy, who was born in former Czechoslovakia, remembers running across Europe with his family, sleeping in graveyards and finding sanctuary wherever they could. The blessing of having survived the Holocaust — although much of his extended family did not — led him to a life of service to his fellow man, he said.

“I give my life to make sure that my brothers and sisters and the Jewish people will never again have Holocaust,” Levy said, “and do everything in my power to bring this world to love each other.”

The exhibit, from the Simon Wiesenthal Center’s Museum of Tolerance in California, has been to more than 73 locations — including in Africa and Asia. TCC President Jim Murdaugh said “The Courage to Remember” was free for the school and was the result of a faculty member with a connection to the exhibit.

“You can’t see this sort of thing and not be moved,” he said. “And college is where we want students to have those kinds of experiences. We want them to see things they would not ordinarily see, and have them shape the kinds of people that they become.”

I assure you that I have not yet read any commentaries regarding the film, War Horse.  Therefore, I will share with you my unalloyed and brief review:  This film contains a clash of contrasting images:  violent and horrific vs. nostalgic and sentimental.

The film scenes re-creating World War I  are horrible,  violent, and bloody.  The images and sounds assault and torment us [the viewers] as the film confronts us with the horrors of man’s inhumanity to man.

This film also explores relationships between: villagers, neighbors, friends, comrades, humans and animals,  grandparents and grandchildren, parents and children, and husbands and wives.

I remember when I first watched Schindler’s List, which Stephen Speilberg brought from print to film.  I said at the time, “This is a film we need to view.  If brave, courageous people had to live — and suffer and die — through this horror, the very least we can do is to watch it, no matter how difficult.”  

We must be repeatedly reminded, in the most brutal way possible, if necessary, of the horrors of war and genocide.

It is likely that film reviewers will sneer at the nostalgia and sentimentality of the “schmaltzy” relationship scenes.  I disagree with them.

The ancient Greek philosophers knew that the intellect must “reign in” the emotions, as a rider “reigns in” a horse.  We must, therefore, train our emotions to respond appropriately to whatever the intellect first determines to be virtuous and true.

This film encourages us to indulge in the “relationship scenes,”  in order to remind us of the hope that, one day, the created order will be made right.  The Hebrew Scriptures declare: “But let justice roll down like waters, and righteousness like an ever-flowing stream.” [Amos 5.24]

We cannot live without the hope that the created order will one day be restored:  wars between nations will cease, human dignity will be restored, human life will be protected and valued, and humans will be reconciled with God and with one another.

The “schmaltzy scenes” of the film serve not to merely manipulate our emotions.  Rather, those scenes represent a “keyhole” preview into a world of the future, when justice and righteousness will reign forever.

St. Peter’s Anglican Church Concert

Friday, January 20 at 7:00 pm
Featuring musical artists from the parish of St. Peter’s including Joel Hastings, Lucy Church, Ann Dalton, Belinda Dudley, Christopher Garven, Will Nilson, and John Ossi.
Free!

For more details:  www.saint-peters.net 

Camellia

Exactly one month ago, my friend, Cheryl, died — on the same morning that the first of the Camellias bloomed in our garden.  Since it is difficult for me to find the words to express what her friendship meant to me, I will borrow from the language of flowers:

The Camellia is The Winter Rose but I first met Cheryl in the summer, only six months ago.  I remember my first impression:  she was elegant and lovely yet fragile and delicate.

We refer to the Camellia, poetically, as the rose without thorns.  Yet, I soon learned that Cheryl’s life did contain thorns:  when her mother died of breast cancer, Cheryl was only thirteen years of age.  When I met her, Cheryl was battling breast cancer for the third time, within a span of ten years.

In spite of her affliction, she was spirited and vivacious.  She and her husband, Doug, downplayed the seriousness of Cheryl’s health challenges:  They were brave, courageous, and optimistic.

She possessed a beauty borne of years of suffering.  The natural tendency, in suffering, is to isolate oneself.  Instead, over the decades, she invested herself in nurturing strong relationships with family and friends.

In the autumn, as Cheryl’s health declined, both families of Doug and Cheryl welcomed me into their closely knit circle.  They taught me how an extended family cares for each other, during the deepest and darkest season of affliction.

Doug was her protector:  She depended upon him and he was entirely trustworthy.  He arranged for her comfort and companionship, during the hours that he was at the university.  He was unfailingly energetic, optimistic, and gracious to everyone, in spite of struggling with the harrowing thought of losing his wife.

Their commitment to marriage [almost 31 years] and to each other was strong, pure, and everlasting.

Cheryl’s life demonstrated the symmetry of integrity:  She knew what she believed and she lived out what she believed.  She was consistent in both character and virtue.  Her commitment to both Christian faith and practice was unwavering.

Elegant and beautiful yet fragile and delicate; loving and trusting her husband and family; generously giving herself in friendship and service to others; trusting in the Holy Trinity for her life on earth and for her eternal future:  Those were the enduring qualities of my friend, Cheryl.

On this winter day, glancing out my window, I can see our Camellia bushes:  The red and pink blooms offer a welcome burst of color in the cold, dreary, rainy landscape.  As I pause to admire the perfect blooms, I remember the gentle and light fragrance of Cheryl’s life.   She loved the Holy Trinity  “with all [of her] heart, soul, mind, and strength.”  It was this self-emptying love for God and for others that drew family and friends to her.  Even when her own life was fading, she was concerned for the welfare of those around her.

Cheryl loved beautiful, sacred music, as do I, and she was gifted with a superb singing voice.  Every Sunday morning, at St. Peter’s Anglican, the voices of both the congregation and the choir combine to sing the ancient hymns of worship. As we lift our voices with “all the company of heaven,” I can imagine the lovely sound of Cheryl’s clear and soaring voice, a reflection of  the depth and beauty of a life lived well, to the glory of God.

“ . . . with Angels and Archangels, and with all the company of heaven, we laud and magnify thy glorious Name, evermore praising thee, and saying,

Holy, holy, holy, Lord God of hosts:

Heaven and earth are full of thy glory.

Glory be to thee, O Lord Most High!” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You only are immortal, the creator and maker of mankind; and we are mortal, formed of the earth, and to earth shall we return.  For so did you ordain when you created me, saying, ‘You are dust, and to dust you shall return.’

All of us go down to the dust; yet even at the grave we make our song:  Alleluia, alleluia, alleluia!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Grant her your peace; let Light Perpetual shine on her; and, in your loving wisdom and almighty power, work in her the good purpose of your perfect will; through Jesus Christ our Lord.  Amen.”

“Give rest, O Christ, to your servant, Cheryl, with your saints, where sorrow and pain are no more, neither sighing, but life everlasting.  Amen.”

Coram Deo,

Margot

[Written by Margot Blair Payne, January 10, 2012].

[Quotes are from the Book of Common Prayer.]

In her book, “A Victorian Flower Dictionary,” Mandy Kirby notes that the Camellia is “the Empress of Winter,” bringing lightness and gaiety to a dark time of year.

The Camellia:

The Empress of Winter

The Belle of Winter

The Rose Without Thorns

Qualities: Longevity, Evergreen, Symmetry

Feminine Qualities:  Elegance, Loveliness, Beauty,  Lightness, Gaiety, Trust

Masculine Qualities:  Protection, Excellence, Steadfastness, Trustworthiness

Qualities of Love:  Strong, Pure, Everlasting

Other:  Admiration, Perfection, Gratitude

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Payne & Stewart Family Vacation: June 2011 Beech Mountain, NC:  [Daniel and Benjamin @ Pond Creek]

October 22, 2011:  Benjamin [@ 2.9 years] meets Lucy Elanor [@ 1 day old]

October 22, 2011:  Uncle Garrett meets Lucy for the first time.

December 2011:  Daniel, Haley, and Lucy:

 The annual Stewart tradition of choosing a Christmas tree in South Georgia.

Christmas Morning 2011 @ the Stewarts: Benjamin and Lucy

Christmas Morning 2011 – Brunch @ the Paynes:  Garrett, Stephen, Benjamin, Lucy, Margot, Haley

[Daniel is taking the photo.]

Just another typical New Year’s Eve for these three socialites:   Stephen, Margot, and Garrett @ Davis-Stewart Wedding Reception @ Governor’s Club, Tallahassee, 2011.  [Stephen & Margot stayed awake until 12M!]

January, 2012:  Lucy

Yes, she still has blue eyes, even though Daniel & Haley each have brown eyes.

For more photos and highlights, see:

www.carrotsformichaelmas.wordpress.com

www.3ftmoviecritic.tumblr.com

Preview of 2012:

Stephen will retire from FSU but will continue consulting with Marquis Software.

Stephen & Margot will celebrate their 60th birthdays and their 39th wedding anniversary.  They will travel to California, to visit family and attend a wedding.  While in CA, they will travel north, from Santa Barbara to Carmel and Big Sur.

]]> http://margopayne.wordpress.com/2012/01/07/family-photos-2011/feed/ 1 margopayne img_1008 img_1511 IMG_1253 IMG_1763 img_1819 IMG_1828 photo 387529_10100293855223663_9200846_45855455_425562345_n http://margopayne.wordpress.com/2011/12/27/fires-and-chairs-and-meals/ http://margopayne.wordpress.com/2011/12/27/fires-and-chairs-and-meals/#comments Tue, 27 Dec 2011 18:12:40 +0000 margopayne http://margopayne.wordpress.com/?p=931 Continue reading →]]> 1952:  The Year In Which I was Born

” . . . ‘Mere’ Christianity is like a hall out of which doors open to several rooms . . . it is in the rooms, not in the hall, that there are fires and chairs and meals.   The hall is a place to wait in, a place from which to try the various doors, not a place to live in.”

~~~C. S. Lewis, “Mere Christianity,”  1952

[Note: The complete excerpt is below my signature.]

Christmas Eve 1960

The  ”hall” imagery reminds me of my childhood discovery on Christmas Eve, 1960, within the 1920′s home of my grandmother,  in North Carolina:

I climbed the stairs and located two doors, one on either side of the landing.

I opened one of the doors, which revealed a guest room.

Inside the room, I opened an interior door, which led to a clothes-closet or “wardrobe.”

I stepped inside:  It was small, dark, musty, and crowded with hanging clothes.

I pushed aside the hanging clothes and discovered that – lo and behold!  A secret door was hidden at the back of the wardrobe!

I opened this concealed door and stepped into a cavernous attic room, filled with sunlight.

I squinted my eyes, to adjust to the brightness.

I positioned a chair underneath a large window.  I climbed up and opened the window latch.

I stood on tip-toes to scan the wide, clear sky and to breathe in the crisp, cold air.

Christmas Eve 2000

“Not all who wander are lost.”  [J. R. R. Tolkein]  

I was not lost but I was a wanderer for 25 years, within the “hall” of contemporary evangelical churches, which endeavored to be inter-denominational or non-denominational.

I began to yearn for a more permanent residence:  one that embraced Community and Creed, Doxology and Theology, Faith and Reason.

Within this “hall,” on Christmas Eve 2000, I found a heavy, solid, ancient door and opened it:

Inside, I found a spacious room with fires and chairs and meals:

Fires: Here was the warmth of community with believers, not merely contemporary and local, but also historical and global.

Chairs:  Here was the sturdy foundation of Doctrine, based upon the Authority of Holy Scripture, assisted now by Faith, Reason and Tradition.

Meals:  Here also was nourishment, not only from the reading and preaching of the Word, but also from the real and living Presence of Christ, in the Holy Eucharist.

Opening the heavy, solid, ancient door revealed yet another door:  a portal to the Creeds, Prayers, and Hymns of Ancient and Historic Christian Faith.

My wandering search brought me full circle:

As a child, I attended liturgical worship services, which shaped me in ways that were subtle, yet strong and sure, for as N. T. Wright reminds us, “The Liturgy is a means of grace; it is God ministering to us.”

The Language of Liturgy slowly unveils to us the meaning of its metaphors.

The Words of Worship strengthen and sustain us; they form and transform us.

The Language and Words, vast and ageless, are filled with light and life.

~~~Margot Blair Payne, Advent 2007; Revised Advent 2011

From the Introduction to “Mere Christianity:”

“I hope no reader will suppose that ‘mere’ Christianity is here put forward as an alternative to the creeds of the existing communions – as if a man could adopt it in preference to Congregationalism or Greek Orthodoxy or anything else.  It is more like a hall out of which doors open to several rooms.  If I can bring anyone into that hall I shall have done what I attempted.  But it is in the rooms, not in the hall, that there are fires and chairs and meals.  The hall is a place to wait in, a place from which to try the various doors, not a place to live in.  For that purpose the worst of the rooms [whichever that may be] is, I think, preferable.  It is true that some people may find they have to wait in the hall for a considerable time, while others feel certain almost at once which door they must knock at.  I do not know why there is this difference, but I am sure God keeps no one waiting unless He sees that is good for him to wait.  When you do get into your room you will find that the long wait has done you some kind of good, which you would not have had otherwise.  But you must regard it as waiting, not as camping.  You must keep on praying for light:  and, of course, even in the hall, you must begin trying to obey the rules which are common to the whole house.  And above all, you must be asking which door is the true one, not which pleases you best by its paint and paneling.  In plain language, the question should never be, ‘Do I like that kind of service?’ but ‘Are these doctrines true:  Is holiness here?  Does my conscience move me toward this?  Is my reluctance to knock at this door due to my pride, or my mere taste, or my personal dislike of this particular door-keeper?’

When you have reached your own room, be kind to those who have chosen different doors and to those who are still in the hall.  If they are wrong they need your prayers all the more; and if they are your enemies, then you are under orders to pray for them.  That is one of the rules common to the whole house.”

~C. S. Lewis, excerpt from the book, Mere Christianity, 1952, Macmillan Publishing.

Dear Family & Friends,

My Guest Blogger today is my daughter, Haley Stewart.  You can find her blog at:  Carrots for Michaelmas.

O Come, O Come, Emmanuel has always been my favorite carol.  I love the ancient chant-like melody and the images it conjures: monks singing by candlelight and waiting to celebrate the coming of the Light of the World, while a cold, dark winter lingers on.  It has many beautiful verses but the first and most familiar is:

O Come, O Come, Emmanuel

And ransom captive Israel

That mourns in lonely exile here

Until the Son of God appear.

Rejoice! Rejoice!

Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel

It is, of course, a particularly fitting verse for Advent, when we prepare for the coming of Our Lord. This Advent, I have come to understand better what it means because it’s been a dark Advent. In November, dear friends lost a child at birth. Their incomprehensible grief and the loss we have all experienced, as we miss their daughter we will never have the opportunity to know, made the uncertainty of this life more present.  We are not guaranteed lives free of pain, in fact, quite the opposite.  We wait in exile.  And in exile there is grief.  So I have struggled with the darkness of our exile.  How do we live in a world of grief, pain, and uncertainty?  How do we love those around us, knowing that we might lose them? What does it mean to wait for Jesus?

St. Bernard of Clairvaux writes of three Advents:

One is in the past: Christ was born to the Blessed Virgin Mary, when God Incarnate came to rescue the world.

One is in the present:  Now is the time to prepare our hearts for Christ’s dwelling.

And one is in the future:  Christ will come again in glory.

During the Advent season, I usually only consider the past Advent, Christ’s Nativity.  After all, it’s complete and all that I need to do is remember what has happened and celebrate, on Christmas morning, what Our Lord has done. The other two Advents require more of me.  How do I prepare my heart for the Son of God to enter it?  And perhaps even more difficult:  How can I bear waiting for Christ’s return, in exile, amidst grief, pain, and uncertainty?

In the Advent carol, the first step is to long for Christ.  O come, O come, Emmanuel, God with us.  We long for Him because we have come to understand the difficult reality of our situation. Until we realize that placing our security in anything of this life is fruitless, we will not be able to long for Christ as we ought.  We are captives in this exile and we must understand our helplessness and need of a Savior.

I remember Zechariah, who was struck dumb during the miraculous pregnancy of his aging and previously barren wife, Elizabeth. Waiting. Yearning for new life as he anticipated the birth of his son, John the Baptist.  And ransom captive Israel that mourns in lonely exile here . . . Our exile.  It seems very dark.  But we have been given a gift, a promise that our exile will not last forever.  We have been given hope.  And our hope is a Living Hope —  for it is Christ himself. What makes the darkness and the waiting and the pain bearable is that it will come to an end. Zechariah will speak at the end of nine months.  A woman in labor will not be in pain forever.  Until the Son of God appear . . . In the darkness of our exile, we wait in joyful hope because He is coming.  He HAS come.  And He IS here.  Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel.  The redemption of the world has happened in the Incarnation, it is happening in us and in the world  it will be fulfilled and completed.

How can we bear our exile?  I think I am learning that the answer is hope. With hope, we can say with Lady Julian of Norwich, even through our grief . . .And all shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well.

Hail, Holy Queen, mother of mercy:

Hail, our life, our sweetness, and our hope.

To thee do we cry, poor banished children of Eve;

to thee do we send up our sighs, mourning and weeping in this valley of tears.

Turn then, most gracious advocate, thine eyes of mercy towards us;

and after this our exile show unto us the blessed fruit of thy womb, Jesus.

O clement, O loving, O sweet Virgin Mary.

Pray for us, O holy Mother of God.

That we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.

[Written by Haley Susan Stewart, Advent 2010; posted Advent 2011.]

Celebrate Christmas With Us!

Christmas Eve Services:

12.00 N

Candlelight Services:

5.00 PM

8.00 PM:  incense

11.00 PM:  incense

Christmas Day Service:

11.00 AM

Saint Peter’s Anglican Church

www.saint-peters.net

901 Thomasville Road

Tallahassee, FL  32303

850.701.0669

Childcare provided at all services.

Arrive early and enter the Sanctuary in silence.